Slayer comes to South Park
by Shadowgate
Summary: A tribute to Slayer!


Slayer Comes to South Park

By Shadowgate

…..

Kyle rushed to Red's house and told her about the concert. He grabbed her hand and begged her to go to the concert like he was begging for her hand in marriage.

Red said her parents didn't approve of that music but in the next breath she said "fuck what they think I'm going with you to that concert."

Kyle and Red grabbed each other and hugged tight. Kyle was beginning to realize why Stan had deep feelings for Wendy since his relationship with Red was taking off. Soon he had to take off and head back home. When he got home he heard his mom cussing about the song Angel of Death.

Sheila recites the lyrics "Auschwitz the meaning of pain, the way that I want you to die."

She screamed "FUCK!"

Kyle was annoyed by the screaming of his mother. He already bought his ticket to the Slayer concert and so had many other children residing in South Park.

"Gerald I just can't believe Kyle is going to see this band. This band sings songs about Satanism and Nazism and it upsets me. What also upsets me is that you listened to them during your years in law school to blow off stress. You had South of Heaven on Record LP."

Gerald just looked at his wife and did nothing else which further aggravated her.

Kyle's cell phone rings and he answers.

"Stan I'm glad you called oh man just one more night. Slayer is so fucking heavy and hardcore."

"Kyle you know it and I can't wait to sneak behind one of the wooden booths to get it on with Wendy when they play Angel of Death."

Kyle freaks out and says "whoa Stan you and Wendy will get arrested."

Stan stops Kyle to say "I got so much tension in me. I mean I got sucked into Facebook literally, I have had romance problems and I had to deal with you going into a big state of depression over being declared ugly. Oh and not to mention the fucking Harley riders, and then Mister Garrison causing all the trouble he caused I mean Goddamn it Kyle I need to get laid."

Kyle remembered "well it is an outside arena and I'm sure you two won't be the only ones to get it on."

Kyle says "oh I got to go Ike is crying."

Kyle hangs up his cell phone and rushes to comfort Ike.

"Ike you're just too little to go to the Slayer concert. I know it sucks but Slayer will still be around 10 years from now so hang in there."

The main telephone rings and Kyle rushes to answer it.

"Hello!"

His arch enemy is on the other end and he says "hello Jew boy tonight is the fucking Slayer concert so look out for skinheads."

Kyle got pissed off and simply replied "fuck you fat ass."

After hanging up the phone the phone rang again. Kyle picked up the phone and started screaming "YOU FUCKING FATASS YOUR MOTHER EATS VD INFECTED PUSSY!"

The following response was heard "WHOA KYLE!"

Kyle then stopped and said "Clyde?"

"Dude what the hell is wrong?"

Kyle calms down and explains that he thought it was Cartman on the other end.

Clyde goes on to explain that his dad is giving him and Craig a ride to the concert and asked if he needed one. Kyle said no and that he was riding with Stan, Kenny, and the fat bastard.

Randy Marsh was getting ready to drive all four boys to the concert in the new theater but in the mean time Sharon Marsh was a nervous wreck.

"Randy oh Randy I am not crazy about this band. I mean the lyrics are Satanic and I hear Christian Groups will be out protesting."

Randy laughs and replies "don't worry about Christian Fundies."

Stan is dressed like a Goth and ready to roll. Shelly looks at Stan and says "you're a disgusting brat."

Stan replies "go finger your pussy to Justin Bieber songs bitch."

Shelly throws a lamp at Stan and misses.

Stan rushes out the door.

In the meantime Kyle is heading out the door and he sees Kenny on his front lawn. Kenny points out how much better this concert will be compared to the Jonas Brothers concert. Kyle hugs him and says "it's good to have you back Kenny. We thought those queer ass Jonas Brothers had taken you from us forever."

Cartman walks up and yells "ANGEL OF DEATH."

Kenny yells "EXPENDABLE YOUTH" and Kyle thinks of how fitting that song title is for Kenny.

They all head to Stan's house and get in Randy's truck.

Randy goes on to talk about how when he was in college he got drunk off his ass listening to Seasons in the Abyss and the boys listen with a smile.

Cartman says "I wish I had a beer."

Kyle replies "you act stupid enough sober."

Cartman replies "shut your mouth hook nose Jew."

Kyle asks "how'd you like a punch in the nose fat boy?"

Stan says "save it for the mosh pit."

When they arrive at the theater they get out and hustle to the entrance. Craig and Clyde meet them.

Craig's blue outfit looks very dark at night and he had a smile with a look that could only be described as deliciously evil.

Wendy and Bebe showed up a few minutes later. Wendy made it clear to Stan that she was not particularly crazy about the band but she hoped to get her stress out as well as get romantic with Stan.

In the meantime the news crew surrounded the theater and on the scene was an overweight Jamaican reporter wearing a tutu.

He said "hey man we are at the South Park Theater where Slayer will perform tonight. I'm here with a woman named Sheila Broflavski who is not thrilled about this band being in South Park."

Sheila snarls and says "my son is in there and I'm not crazy about it. This band has Satanic lyrics and lyrics about Nazism."

The reporter goes on to state "okay man and over here we have a Catholic Priest named Father Maxi and he is not thrilled about this band either. Father Maxi why are you upset that Slayer has come to your town man?"

Father Maxi gets pissed off and says "this band is ungodly and it really infuriates me that young children in this town are going to see this band. What the hell are these parents thinking?"

The reporter goes on to ask "now what about the problems in the Catholic Church with boys being molested man? Don't you think it's a bit hypocritical for you to throw stones when you're glass house is covered in shit man?"

Father Maxi begins clenching his fists. Then he states "well I never molested a kid and I'm out to save kids from this evil rock band."

The reporter decides to be cute and he says "hey man get down with the rock band."

Father Maxi gets really pissed off and says "I'd love to kick you square in the nuts."

The reporter starts shoving everyone out of his way to avoid Maxi.

The camera pans over to another reporter who says "this concert will go on."

AT THE BIG STADIUM IN DENVER COLORADO SLAYER IS SCHEDULED TO PERFORM. THE STAGE IS STILL COVERED IN BLOOD FROM WHEN JUSTIN BIEBER WAS SLAUGHTERED BY CTHULHU

Wendy tells Stan "we can take shelter under a wooden booth and I can give you a hand job there."

Stan replied "I hope we don't get arrested."

Wendy said "well do you want me to pleasure you or not?"

Stan then said "fuck it let's take a chance on getting arrested."

Bradley Biggle appears and he's greeted by Kenny, Kyle, Clyde, Craig, and Stan.

He said his parents let him come visit Earth for the great Slayer concert.

Cartman said "oh it's great for someone like me to be here. I'm so evil I sent my friends to a dark oblivion."

Kenny says "why you're enjoying yourself at this concert and not sitting in a juvenile hall cell is beyond me."

Cartman says "fuck you Kenny!"

Slayer takes the stage and begins singing Raining Blood.

Stan begins to undo his pants.

Stan then orders Wendy to spank him hard and she does causing him to yell and she covers his mouth quickly. He giggles and Wendy starts fondling him.

After Raining Blood they play Aggressive Perfector.

Soon Stan starts to cum and Wendy feels his warm jism. She has to yank down his pants so he doesn't wet himself.

Soon they play South of Heaven.

Kyle yells "oh my mom hates this song."

Kenny and Cartman start thrashing hard in the mosh pit. Their anger towards each other is obvious.

At the end of the concert they finish off with Angel of Death. Cartman gives the Hitler Salute and leaves Kyle pretty mad. But soon as Stan and Kyle approach and the crowd leaves someone in all black grabs Kyle and his girlfriend Red.

Stan yells "WHAT THE FUCK!"

He is so mad now since kidnapping happens so often wherever he goes or Kyle ends up in trouble like the Death Camp of Tolerance or the time he fell in the pit and they found the iceman.

Tom Araya the lead singer of Slayer jumped off the stage and realizing the security guard did nothing he decided to punch out the security guard.

They were able to track the kidnapper's foot prints to a shack.

Jeff Hanneman and Dave Lombardo move in and break the lock off the shack door.

They approach Kyle and Red who are tied up. The kidnapper takes off the mask and they are all surprised to see it's Kyle's mom.

Stan yells "Mrs. Broflavski what the fuck?"

Kyle's mom explained that she hated the fact that this Slayer concert was going to take place and she decided to kidnap her own son. They figured it wasn't too far out since she once tried to have Terrance and Phillip executed.

Cartman says "I've learned something today. Jews can be fascist in their own way."

Stan says "dude this is pretty fucked up right here."

Kenny says "this is almost as fucked up as when Cartman sent us to a dark oblivion."

Kerry King says "wow you're one evil little bastard."

Cartman insists he's more hardcore than Kerry King and Kerry King gets really pissed off.

Kerry King says "that's it I'll kick you square in the nuts."

Kerry kicks Cartman square in the nuts and sends him flying in the air. Everyone laughs and goes home.

THE END


End file.
